Life after becoming a registered sex offender

  • Published
  • By Senior Airman Regina Agoha
  • 19th Airlift Wing Public Affairs
LITTLE ROCK AIR FORCE BASE, Ark. --  Editor's note: The names in this article have been changed for the protection of their privacy. Be mindful that no two sexual assault stories are the same. Often times we hear the tragic stories of the victims; this is a story of what happens after a person becomes a sex offender. The interviewee wanted to lend a warning to those who may be blindly or consciously headed down the same road.

"I was a senior in high school, and Amber was a freshman," said Adam. "I was 18, she was turning 15, and we were dating at the time."

"One particular night Amber's mom found out that she wasn't staying at her friend's house like she said she was," he said. "She came to my house and found us asleep in bed. That was enough for her."

Amber's mom turned Adam in to authorities. He said he was completely humiliated when he was arrested in front of most of his high school in the hallway. He was charged with sexual assault of a child.

After a three-year battle, he received and is currently serving seven years of probation, six months wearing an ankle monitor and approximately one year of group therapy, which he has to pay for. The biggest punishment however was the hardest for Adam to accept. He had to register as a sex offender.

Although in Adam's mind he didn't consider himself a sex offender because he was dating the victim, in the state of Texas, where they resided, the age where a person can consent to sex is 17. In the eyes of the law, he was guilty.

Therefore Adam urges everyone to look up the age of consent in the state where they live and take heed to it. In the state of Arkansas, the age of consent is 16.

Capt. Nicholas Peone, 19th Airlift Wing Judge Advocacy acting chief of military justice, said "non-consensual sex, whether it is with someone who is incapacitated by alcohol or with someone who is under the age of consent, is a serious crime that can carry lifetime consequences for both the victim and the offender."

Along with Adam's sentence, he was given a long list of restrictions barring him from living, working or approaching areas where children frequently are: schools, parks, stadiums, churches and other places. In the state of Texas, the state parole board has the power to decide restrictions for individuals.

Adam can no longer carry photos of his two, four, nine and 12-year old brothers with whom he's very close.

"This changed my life a lot," he said. "I can't be around my family; I can't move to another place. I can't find a good job. Even when I get good job offers, as soon as they find out I'm a registered sex offender, they don't hire me. I got fired from a job because they found out about it."

Adam said he's constantly judged and categorized as a monster.

"When people hear my charge is sexual assault of a child, they automatically think I took advantage of toddler," he said.

Adam has had to come to grips with the fact that the future he had planned for himself may never come.

"People need to realize that this is real, and it affects your life tremendously," he said. "I had a dream to compete in the Olympics. I was an exceptional runner. Several colleges in Texas were looking at me to come and run on a full scholarship at their schools. I have tons of medal and trophies for running, but I can't even look at them now because it's just a reminder of what I can't do because of this."

Adam said his life and privacy has been completely ripped away from him.

"Anyone can look up my name and they will see my face, my height, shoe size, weight, date of birth, place of residency, my charge and the punishment that was given," he said.

Adam said when he has children one day, he's going to encourage them to pour all their energy on sports and school and not to focus on sex.

"If you choose to do wrong things, just know each choice has consequences," he said. "Look at me. Look at what I'm going through. If you have a career, focus on that. Always know the age of your partner and the age of consent in the state where you are. If you want to do wrong, you'll have to live by your decisions. Don't go down a path of disaster."

There is a light at the end of Adam's tunnel, however. In time and with very good behavior, there is a possibility for Adam to be deregistered. This is not the case for all registered sex offenders.

Frank Cope, Sexual Assault Response Coordinator, said "This is an example of how a wrong decision and choice can change your life. Most of my focus is on the victim in sexual assault cases and the harm and negative effects that a sexual assault has on them. But as you look at his story remember, if someone (a Bystander) had talked to this young man about the choice he was about to make, it might have changed his story. His story is about someone who is older, (and held responsible), making a decision to have sex with someone, who by law is not capable of giving consent. Young love is wonderful, but consider the ages of those involved."