Domestic Violence Awareness: Stages of Abuse

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Domestic violence is a cyclic experience. The domestic violence cycle consists of the following stages:

Tension building stage

You can feel the tension. You feel like you're "walking on eggshells," or like an abusive episode can happen at any time. The unpredictability of your partner and the situation may feel even worse than the actual abuse.

Explosive stage 

You may experience intense abuse. The tension can erupt at any moment. You might feel like it is best to just "trigger" the explosion and "get it over with" so you can move to the Honeymoon Stage. 

Honeymoon stage 

Your partner may say "I'm sorry," or "It won't happen again." Your partner may claim that drugs or alcohol made them act this way. You may be told that you "provoked" your partner. Your partner may buy you gifts to "undue" any harm they may have caused. You may feel confused and overwhelmed. Things may seem better, but the cycle will continue all over again. 

Abuse in children 

Child abuse and neglect frequently cause injury and even death. Physical abuse symptoms can be similar to adults including frequent unexplained bruises, numerous trips to the emergency room or even fingerprint bruises. Physical neglect involves the refusal of health care to treat a physical injury, medical condition or impairment, or a delay in seeking appropriate health care. It also may involve abandonment, which is the desertion of a child or leaving a child without age appropriate supervision. The perpetrator may kick a child out of the house or allow the child to leave overnight without knowing his or her whereabouts. Another form of neglect is showing disregard for the child's safety, such as driving while drunk or under the influence of another type of drug. Providing inadequate clothing, food and shelter are common causes of neglect that require attention and reporting. 

If you or someone you know is involved in domestic violence and experiencing any stage of abuse, call the Family Advocacy Program at 987-7377. 

(Courtesy of the 19th Medical Group)