Base personnel work to build a strong marriage team

  • Published
  • By Airman 1st Class Rochelle Clace
  • 19th Airlift Wing Public Affairs
LITTLE ROCK AIR FORCE BASE, Ark. --  Being a good parent and spouse isn't something that comes natural to people all the time. With increasingly high divorce rates in today's society, military personnel may face obstacles with balancing their work and family lives, even though one may influence the other.

The base chapel staff hosted its fourth marriage seminar Dec. 8 for base personnel at the Holiday Inn Presidential, North Little Rock, to help couples reconnect or connect on higher levels of their relationships.

The seminar was an interactive day of family development focused on building a strong marriage, managing conflict and giving people the tools needed to have a healthy relationship.

"Every professional athlete has a coach, and yet we think we've got it together and sometimes we're intimidated to ask for help," said Chaplain (Capt.) Sean Randall, 19th Airlift Wing protestant chaplain. "I think when you come to an event like this, if you come with a desire to grow and develop, there's an absolute assurance that it will happen."

People who have attended the seminar have plenty of good things to say about how beneficial it was.

"The seminar had a great mix of insightful lectures, engaging group discussions, fun activities to complete with your spouse and interesting multimedia to make for a very enjoyable and worthwhile day," said Capt. Joe Knable, 19th Airlift Wing deputy chief of public affairs. "My wife and I learned a little bit more about each other and we gained a few more tools for a healthy marriage."

The conference began with a discussion about the hypothetical ideals of marriage.

"My wife opens the event with a hypothetical ideal as to what we expected of marriage and why sometimes it doesn't seem to be anything like we had anticipated," said Chaplain Randall.

The presenters also discuss why opposites attract, and ways of dealing with these opposites in a relationship.

"Then we move into different personality types. Why in the world am I attracted to the opposite and then when I'm married to that opposite, I don't like the opposite," said Chaplain Randall. "Yet we realize at some point in our marriage that's what completes us and it's also what aggravates us."

Another important aspect of a marriage is intimacy.

"We also deal with little things, like perhaps intimacy, [starting with] emotional intimacy," said Chaplain Randall. "Toward the end of the conference time together we're dealing with sexual intimacy."

The seminar also discusses communication and how it's important to know what each spouse needs so that the other isn't assuming all the time.

"There are also areas about communication, communicating love," said Chaplain Randall. "What I have found is that wives for instance are desperate for stability. They're desperate for significance. They're desperate for love."

According to Chaplain Randall, if a spouse knows what the other spouse's needs, it can bring a tremendous amount of healing to a marriage or relationship.

"The chaplains didn't just tell us about the importance of marriage, they showed us by bringing their wives and having them participate," said Captain Knable. "The unique perspectives of Mrs. Randall and Mrs. Gorline, [wife of Chaplain (Capt.) Jeremy Gorline], added a great deal of depth and credibility to the seminar. Each chaplain and chaplain's wife brought something different and helpful to the seminar."

The chapel offered the attendants free lunch and refreshments, as well as child care through the Child Development Center the day of the retreat.

"For anyone on base who is married, engaged or thinking of getting married, this is a terrific free service being offered by our base, and you won't regret checking it out," said Captain Knable.

For more information about the marriage seminars, call the chapel at 987-6014.